I want to know how to get the most out of my counseling session
Be honest. This is private, so don’t exclude things that might be keeping you from doing better or causing you problems. There is no need to worry, we can’t tell anyone unless it’s about harming someone else or yourself, in which case, you definitely should bring that up, to help make sure something bad doesn’t happen! Therapists are not the police, we are not required and typically do not report substance abuse, for example, to the legal authorities. If it is something you feel embarrassed about, then it probably will be a bit uncomfortable for you in the moment, but there will now be a better chance for you to have good outcomes from your counseling work. I have done this for about 30 years, chances are I would be pleasantly surprised to hear something I had not heard or maybe done myself before. If I didn’t like what is strange and different about people, I wouldn’t be doing this.
Also it is important to be honest in your feedback. I would really like to know if I am doing something you don’t like, don’t agree with, or have reservations about. You are certainly not required to do and agree with everything I suggest. Please let me know if I am missing the mark. Don’t hesitate to challenge me, I invite you to do so, this can be very helpful to both of us, and don’t worry about hurting my feelings. It is my job to understand what you want and help you identify ways you are comfortable with trying to make things better for yourself. There can be many ways to successfully achieve a goal, and between the two of us, I think we can find the ones that work for you.
Maintain a collaborative relationship. This means your thoughts, feelings, and ideas are of at least as valuable as mine. This is a partnership. Odds are good that your ideas about what will help you are better for you than mine are. Use me as a resource for more ideas, new ideas, then you decide what you are comfortable with trying. I keep pretty up-to-date on research, and have watched what works for others who may have been in a similar situation or had a similar issue to yours, so I can advise you based on my training and experience.
Take notes. Ask me for a pen and paper if you need it. I’m sure I have some on hand and I truly want you to get the most from your session and make progress as quickly and comfortable as possible. Bring notes with you to the session. Jot down questions, concerns, and goals. You could message or email yourself on your smart phone as these occur to you. Then you won’t forget when you come here. Also consider writing your goals. Then review and pick your top three in order of priority. I don’t care if it’s written on a cocktail napkin, and I don’t count off for splelling errors.
Do the work. I’m not going to “grade you down” if you don’t, but the progress and efficiency of what we are doing will probably be slower. I find that most people do not do the homework they agreed to do or that was recommended. I think they meant to. But it was different, or uncomfortable, hard to start, they forgot. Maybe you have a busy life, you are overwhelmed, or anxious, or depressed and lacking energy, many of the reasons you are coming to see me in the first place are not just why you are struggling but also impediments to you doing the things that will put you in a better place. If you are having trouble getting going with experiments you can perform to help yourself do better, let’s talk about it. I am also understanding about being busy and tired, worn out by the chaos of life, kids and their problems, and mental health issues. It is very unlikely I will be offended, put out, or critical with you. But you can count on me to be direct and honest. I love it when people do try new things, when they get better, when it happens quickly, and often these cases are also when they have been diligent, persistent, and done the work on their own behalf.
Stick with it. Realize that it may take a few weeks of counseling, or a few weeks of putting effort into a strategy you are trying, before you notice results.
Value your investment. There is nothing better to invest in than your self or your child. Think of it this way. If you learned 1-3 things that made life a little better most days for the rest of your life, what would that be worth? If your TV was broken, would you pay to fix it? Did you know your Toyota dealer charges the same hourly rate that I do?
Don’t procrastinate. Why put off your healthier happy life? Get scheduled and let’s get going.
Links to articles about how to get the most out of counseling session:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-10-tips-for-making-the-most-of-therapy/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-therapy/201005/21-tips-clients-in-psychotherapy
Links to articles and research about what makes counseling effective
https://psychcentral.com/lib/characteristics-of-effective-counseling/
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/10/psychotherapy