How do you get anxious kids to use coping strategies?

Here’s what I see in my practice. Avoidance of the triggers. Which is fine, except if the trigger is school, homework, or social settings. Avoidance is problematic because it is reinforcing- it works. It can be difficult to get anxious kids to use coping strategies to cope with what they are complaining about and do what they need to do.

Sometimes I make a list of the strategies, a visual, so teachers and parents can coach the kids to use them at the moment they are appropriate, when kids get anxious they have a hard time thinking and remembering. I also encourage using incentives, rewarding efforts to try coping skills. I might also use an accountability sheet, the kids rate how much they are bothered by a problem like anxiety, and whether they tried any strategies or not.

If they report they are bothered at their maximum level, yet they are not trying any strategies, it can become clear to them that if they are going to get relief they must try something different and practice. How do you get children to cope more effectively with anxiety?

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Books

Adler, A. (1992) Understanding Human Nature. Oxford, England, Oneworld Publications. <Outlines the inferiority complex and potentially the source of much human anxiety, recommended for braniacs>

Allen, J. and Klein, R. (1996) Ready, Set, Relax. Watertown, Wisconsin, Inner Coaching. <Good scripts for progressive muscle relaxation>

Attwood, T. (2008). The CAT-Kit. Future Horizons, Arlington, Texas. <Great resource for therapists for helping concrete thinkers, boys and men identify and sort through feelings>

Attwood, T. (2004) Exploring Feelings, Cognitive Behavior Therapy to Manage Anxiety. Arlington, Tx, Future Horizons, Inc. <Excellent workbook for teaching kids aged 8-40 thinking skills for managing worries>

Avery, R. (2008) Meet Thotso, Your Thought Maker. SmartThot, LLC. <Introduces the power of thought in creating and mediating emotional responses for very young children ages 2-8>

Buron, K. D., & Curtis, M. (2003) The Incredible 1-5 Scale. Shawnee Mission, KS: Autism Asperger PublishingCompany. <This is a must-have resource if you work with someone who has trouble recognizing, grading, and expressing emotional states!>

Buron, K. D. A “5” Could Make Me Lose Control! Autism Asperger Publishing Company, Shawnee Mission, KS. www.asperger.net <This can help even very young children (3) identify stress triggers>

Buron, K. D. (2006) When My Worries Get Too Big. Shawnee Mission, Kansas, Autism Asperger Publishing Company. <Cute workbook in the flavor of the previous two>

Cox, A. (2008).No Mind Left Behind. New York: Penguin Group. www.dradamcox.com

like the next on this list, helps you understand how to teach the thinking skills needed to have emotional control and flexibility>

Dawson, P. and Guare, R. (2009). Smart But Scattered. NewYork: Guilford Press. <This would be my current bible of executive skills, brain ways of self-control that are teachable. Superior resource.>

Dyer, W. (1995) Your Erroneous Zones. New York , NY, Avon Books. <Written more for adults and full of great ways to defeat worry>

Forman, S. (1993). Coping Skills Interventions For Children

and Adolescents. San Francisco, Jossey-Bass Publishers.<Great review and description of research-based strategies>

Goleman, D. (1995) Emotional Intelligence. New York, NY, Bantam Books.

Moser, A. (1988) Don’t Feed The Monster On Tuesdays, also Don’t Pop Your Cork On Mondays. Kansas City, MS, Landmark Editions, Inc.

Niner, H. (2004) Mr. Worry, A Story About OCD. Morton Grove, Ill., Albert Whitman and Co. Shapiro, L., Sprague, R. (2009)

The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook for Kids. Oakland, CA, New Harbinger.

Games

Don’t Stress Game

(6-12) Childswork/Childsplay

Land of Psymon

(8-up) Western Psychological Services